Pop Quiz Revisited

Okay, so I wasn't exactly fair when I wrote out my dining out quiz.  There was just one answer for the first fifteen questions:  none of the above, an option I didn't give you.  


I was just checking to see if you were paying attention.


The questions and answers I provided, though, don't come without explanation.  All the answers were based on actual experiences, as you might have inferred.  So let me break it down for you, a few questions at a time.

1.  You walk into a restaurant, wanting to sit at a table.  Right away, you should:

a.  breeze right past the host stand, the host, and the sign that says, "Please wait to be seated."

b.  reply with a brusque "Two!" when the host greets you with a warm "Welcome!"

c.  not say anything at all-- just hold up the number of fingers to indicate how many people are in your party.

I'm always a little stunned to see customers walk straight into the restaurant and attempt to seat themselves.  While there are plenty of restaurants in the world that do have customers choose their own tables, the base assumption should be that someone will seat you-- particularly when there is a sign and a table, podium, or stand that is placed right inside the door.  It's best to assume that someone will seat you and to ask if you aren't sure.  And saying "hello" back to someone who greets you is just basic socialization stuff, as is using your words and not your fingers and grunts.  Right boys and girls? 


You caught me at a condescending moment. 

2.  Upon being greeted by your server, it is customary to:

a. stare blankly at her and not respond.

b. continue to look down at your menu and not respond.

c. glance over at the server, turn away, and then start a conversation with your dining companion-- in other words, not respond.

You remember that condescending thing I said a minute ago about basic socialization?  Well, you'd be astounded by the number of people who do not return a greeting from a server.  It's the most basic human interaction in our culture, yet the inability of a diner to acknowledge a server's presence is rampant.  

Rampant, I tell ya.

3.  When your server asks if you'd like to start with a glass of tap water, you should:

a. stare blankly at her and not respond.

b. continue to look down at your menu and not respond.

c. glance over at the server, turn away, and then start a conversation with your dining companion-- in other words, not respond.

Where I work, our standard question after greeting a table (whether or not they are responsive), is, "Would you like me to bring you tap water?"  We servers joke about how this is the world's hardest question to answer because of the frequency with which people stare back at us, gape-mouthed and unable to speak;  they drop their heads down to their menus to avert our eyes, we are left to assume that we've asked too much of our customers. 


Sometimes, a dialogue ensues between diners wherein they have an extremely detailed, drawn out discussion over whether or not they want tap water.  It's as if the decision to accept tap water is the most important decision they've ever been faced with.  


And we haven't even factored in bottled water yet.


More answers to come.